I'm Not Who I Used to Be
by Airezi
Summary: Simba has returned and taken back the throne. But now, as he steps up to take his place as king, the young lion wonders if he has what it takes to rule over the Pride Lands. Hakuna Matata means no worries, unfortunately a kings life is nothing but worry.
1. Return

**I'm not who I used to be**

_It happened so fast._

_One minute it was just me, Timon and Pumbaa going along with no worries and no plan for the future—except maybe lunch that afternoon. Then Nala materialized, a shadow of the dark past that I had tried to forget. I completely lost my mind that night, torn between the great life I had and curiosity about the one I had left behind all those years ago._

_Inquisitive, and a little guilty, I journeyed to the land that had once been my home, certain that it couldn't be as bleak a picture as Nala had painted._

_It wasn't that bad—it was worse._

_She hadn't told me how even the yellow gold stone of Pride Rock had turned gray from the floating ash of the many fires that ravaged the dry land. She hadn't told me how it was now impossible to tell where the border to the elephant graveyard was, the lands just as bleak and dead now on both sides. She hadn't told me how the great baobab trees and their smaller acacia cousins weren't just leafless, but lay in a scattering of burned twigs and twisted, black charred trunks._

_Yes, she had left out a few of the more grim details._

_Shocked my friends and I inched toward the once proud structure that dominated the landscape. I felt an anger growing in my gut. This was my home, how dare it be allowed to fall into decay! Regardless that I was not worthy to live here any longer it pained me to see it in such ruin. In my memory the Pride Lands had remained a haven of beauty and prosperity, I had always known what a magnificent home I had been blessed with._

_I was still recovering from the shock of seeing remembered places broken and dirty when Scar struck my mother down._

_What little grip I had on reality was lost then, the peaceful world shattered as I growled in harmony with a peal of thunder from the approaching storm. Boiling blood and instinct overtook me, burying fear and timidity in an onslaught of anger that clouded my mind until the first raindrops struck my bleeding face and cleaned my eyes to see this new reality._

_Now I'm walking to the tip of my old home, the cool rainwater washing away the fresh blood of battle. Blood poured from the shredded pelts of both lion and hyena._

_I wonder what exactly I have done._

_Maybe I was born to rule, but that isn't who I am anymore. The life I know, the ways of Hakuna Matata, will not bring this salvaged kingdom back to health, there are too many worries here that cannot just be forgotten and pushed into the past._

_I have no idea what to do._

_Partly in conquest, partly in self-challenge I roar over the battered land. The lionesses, now my lionesses to lead and rule, call back._

_I am king now._

_Whether ready or not._

* * *

Awakening at dawn was a habit that I never grew out of, whether in the jungle, or now back at Pride Rock. The lionesses are usually still sound asleep at this hour, exhausted from a night spent in search of food. Though the rains have begun to return, and the land is slowly turning back to green, prey is still scare, and they must travel long distances each night in source of food.

I don't mind though, in fact I relish these quiet hours in the morning. Though it's been years, the smooth ramp winding down from Pride Rock is familiar beneath my paws, and I see the ghost of my cub self racing down ahead of me. At the bottom, a snaking path has been worn, the dusty ground packed tight as stone from countless generations of paws on their way to get the first drink of a new day.

My eyes are still slightly gummy with sleep when I reach the edge of the small pool, bending over to lap at the fresh, clear water. The taste of it on my tongue brushes back the last remnants of sleep though, and stretching my paws out in front of me I feel…satisfied. Yes, once more I'm beginning to feel like this place is home.

I've begun to make it a habit to circle the border each morning, checking that the hyenas haven't crossed into the Pride Lands overnight to wreak havoc. It was pretty much my first act as king to exile them from the land. It wasn't so much because I had a personal grudge against them—unlike Nala and the other lionesses in the pride. I tried to keep my personal feelings in check when making royal decisions, but there was no argument that the battered land couldn't support so many carnivores. With Scars' death the scavengers were leaderless, and it was easy enough to chase them from my home, though small groups of them continued to sneak in occasionally.

No matter though, it would take more than a few hyenas to truly hurt a full-grown lion, and I was glad of the excuse to wander aimlessly about the Pride Lands. Though of course, such simple tasks can only last for fleeting moments when one is the king.

"Sire! Sire!" Zazu's distinct squawk makes me cringe, already dreading having to listen to the morning report he insists on bringing me.

"Good morning Zazu," I manage to say through gritted teeth. Only two weeks have I been back, listening to this blue hornbill rattle off the doings of every creature in the kingdom, and yet already it has become the bane of my existence. It was such a drastic change from how my life had been before, since I was a young cub I've never had to really sit and listen seriously to someone. Yes, Timon, Pumbaa and I would talk for hours but it was never anything of significance or seriousness.

Now I had to spend every morning sitting perfectly still, And no matter how much I used to like spending the entire day swinging in a vine hammock, the instant I HAD to sit still it became unbearable. Listening as Zazu unloaded the problems of the day from his skinny shoulders onto mine I somehow felt as though the troubles gained magnitude when he passed them to me. Those first weeks it had surprised me how steady a manner Zazu actually possessed. As a cub he had always struck me as a bit flighty. Though most of the problems were quite small, the occasional serious issue didn't ruffle him any. Or perhaps he had changed during Scars' reign, like my mother, like Nala…like me.

All in all though his calm nature led to a very monotonous sounding report, and I always had to fight hard to remain alert. Thinking how I would rather spend this time visiting my childhood haunts, or better still spending time alone with Nala. The mere thought of her brings the ghost of her familiar scent into my nostrils, and my heart pounds harder.

"Sire shall I begin?" Zazu questions sharply, glaring at me for being caught in daydreams. Shaking my mane and reminding myself to focus I answer.

"I'm sorry. Please, go on."

"Well the giraffes have a complaint that the elephants are reaching too far up into the trees and taking part of their share of the food…" My advisors' voice quickly fades in with the background noise and I bite back a large yawn, growing bored swiftly. Zazu always put the most severe cases forward first, if this was the best he had to offer… The slim thread of hope I'd held for some excitement was rapidly deteriorating to a pile of single threads that blew away with the slightest breath. It was going to be a long morning.

"Zazu," I interrupted, focusing on keeping the boredom and irritation from my tone, "Is it really necessary to tell me all this?"

"Of course it is sire!" he squawked in complete shock, eyes rolling and beak wide open from such an absurd question. "It is the duty of the king to handle any dispute within the borders of the kingdom and…"

"Yes but…"

"Sire!" Zazu interjected, glaring sternly down his beak to look me in the eye—just as he would when I was a cub. The all too familiar look made me cringe the same way it did back them. "I understand that you never really enjoyed these meetings as a youngster King Simba," he finally continued, twisting his beak to one side and watching me squarely through one eye. "However, as you are now king it is your duty, nay, your privilege my liege! To keep yourself up to date on all the happenings within the borders of the Pride Lands."

"But I'm not even the one who deals with all the things you tell me about!" I hiss out, losing my last shred of control. My major domo squawked in astonishment, fluttering up a few inches before regaining control. Forcing a deep breath inside through my clenched teeth, I let it out slowly as I spoke.

"The cheetahs will have to bring it up with my mother and the other lionesses about sharing the shade around Pride Rock, I've got no authority about where they hang out in their time off. I can't do anything about the low level of the river either, those old grayscaled crocodiles know the best thing they can do is ask Rafiki to plead with the great kings." Out of air I sucked in another breath. Zazu opened his beak timidly, but I growled softly and he held silent as the tirade continued. "And I've already informed the giraffes several times that elephants are under the jurisdiction of their own leader….oh what do they call him," I muttered, frantically scrambling through my mind and all the new information I'd absorbed since my return.

"Colonel Hathi sire," Zazu supplied meekly, seemingly unsure if he was allowed to speak or not.

"Right, Colonel Hathi," I rumble, taking another breath and fully planning on continuing my rant; then a sick feeling of exhaustion swept from my chest to my throat.

I can't blow up like that…I'm king now, I can't just pretend like I have no worries any more…Hakuna Matata doesn't work here…

"I'm sorry Zazu," I force the words out slowly and steadily, apologizing to the nervous hornbill and sincerely regretting my outburst. "It's just taking me some time to adjust. It's been such a long time since I've had to shoulder so much responsibility, it's…well, a little overwhelming."

It's hard to admit that I'm wrong, and even harder to sit down calmly and ask Zazu to continue with his report.

_There's no place for Hakuna Matata here,_ I kept repeating when I found my mind drifting away from his resumed oration. _I HAVE worries now. I can't just let everyone down. I have to be a leader, like my father._ For a second I let my gaze slip away from Zazu, eyes drifting up to the blue sky with its wispy clouds, wishing that it were night to I could see the stars. _I won't let you down dad. Those days of lazing around, doing nothing for anyone, I'm leaving that life behind me now. I'll be the king you always wanted me to be. I promise._

_

* * *

A/N- This chapter has been sitting on my flash drive for a while, completed and ready to be published. Unfortunately I haven't had the motivation to write the next chapter (even though I have the entire story plotted out). So I'm posting it in hopes that some reviews will prompt me to work on. Thanks for reading! Sincerely, Airezi  
_


	2. Home

_A/N- Hey everyone, I am extremely sorry for the long update, especially since I got such wonderful reviews on the first chapter. Thanks again to everyone who left a review, they were all very good for my moral and excitement in writing this story. Unfortunately I am gone so much for work that it is hard to get enough computer time. Hopefully this chapter is worth the wait, enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 2: Home**

I can't keep my gaze from the sky above. The clear, sharp blue of a beautiful day is bright overhead, and the downy, white clouds are taunting me with their shape shifting; begging me to lie on my back in the soft grass and puzzle out the pictures hidden within their translucent forms.

But instead of doing so, I have to listen to this—

"King Simba this is an outrage! There is barely enough food to support our herd, meager as it is, and now these…these…uncultured…long necked…creatures…think that they should partake of it too!"

"Now see here! I will stand no name calling of my people, nor myself! If I can restrain myself from speaking so foully of you then I expect the same respect from you as well!" The ancient giraffe stamped a rear foot in anger, shaking his graying head at the insult the robust elephant had just bellowed. His short temper already long gone Hathi, the elephant herds leader, shifted his weight as well, stomping the dusty earth and glaring at the taller giraffe.

Watching them I could feel the tension, and swallowed nervously. If these two wanted to fight with one another there was nothing I could really do to stop them. What could a lion do to a healthy, full-grown giraffe? Much less an even larger elephant! Praying that their normally peaceful natures would prevail I roared to catch the duos' attention.

"Hathi! Kaifa! This is no way to act!" I growled out fiercely, doing my best to glare and convey my displeasure. Standing there, as the two bigger animals hung their heads in shame, I felt the absurdity of the situation. On the outside I was trying my best to look like a self-assured king, while on the inside my internal knees were shaking and my actual stomach twisted and churned with uncertainty. I felt like a cub merely pretending to be king.

"I apologize King Simba," Kaifa was the first to speak, looking properly ashamed and keeping his ancient eyes trained on the ground. "We are acting like children, not adults."

"Actually I believe our children are behaving better than we are," Colonel Hathi admitted grudgingly, pointing with his trunk to where the rest of their herds waited nearby. The shared grazing ground for the two species was a well-stocked grove surrounding a single, clear watering hole. Despite the hard feelings over who was eating whose food there was no arguing that all must share the single water source, and the youngsters of both herds were thoroughly enjoying themselves in the cool water. Without the barbed words passing between the two herd leaders I could now hear the young giraffes and elephant calves laughing as they splashed at one another, their mothers watching cautiously from the sidelines.

_Your children don't care who eats whose leaves, why do you?_ I thought, biting my lip to keep the words from escaping. Instead I sighed, shaking my head in an attempt to shake my thoughts out of the circular loops they had been running in for hours.

"Let me go over this once more," I stated, trying to keep the small groan that escaped quiet. "The elephant herd and giraffe herd have shared this grazing ground for generations. The giraffes graze upon the higher boughs of the trees, while the elephants are welcome to the lower branches, correct?"

"Yes your majesty," Kaifa replied, gently nodding his head to reinforce the fact.

"Of course, that's how it's been for years," Haithi muttered, rolling his dark eyes a bit as though this were all a waste of time.

_I wish that I weren't here either,_ I thought, making a conscious effort to keep my face from showing the regret.

"Ok then," I said aloud, swallowing and clearing my throat before going on. "And the main issue is that no one is sure exactly where the line between these two portions is? So each of you claims the other is eating your own herds' portion of the food?"

"It isn't just an unbased claim!" Haithi began to sputter in outrage, biting back his words as both Kaifa and I glared at him. "Sorry," the dusty elephant muttered his apology, ruffling big, sail like ears in frustration.

"Why hasn't this come up before?" I questioned both leaders, wishing briefly that Zazu were present. As annoying as the blue hornbill was he had spent years as an advisor and had amassed an immense amount of knowledge on how the circle of life wound forward on its daily path. He would have known exactly how this original law had been established and any other details that may have been pertinent. Most importantly though he would have informed me of these facts either before the discussion even began, or during key points of the debate.

Without Zazu I was reduced to asking obvious questions like this one, appearing ill-informed before two very important members of the pride lands whose opinions and support were vital to the running of the kingdom. Mentally I made a note to quiz either him or my mother for any important details BEFORE going to deal with the next crisis. It was hard enough being a young king, especially one who hadn't spent most of his youth in the Pride Lands; I didn't want to add the label of ignorance to the impression my subjects had of me.

Luckily Haithi was still too enraged to recognize my lack of preparedness, and Kaifa seemed willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.

"Originally there were more trees in the grove," the giraffe explained, settling back more on his haunches to rest a bit. "And of course more leaves on each. The drought has taken a heavy toll on those that survived the lightning fire from the night you became King. In my youth there were nearly double the amount of trees, and the line of grazing was drawn by the head height of a yearling giraffe since that is when they began to be weaned from their mothers and feed among the trees with the rest of the herd."

"But there are less animals in each of your herds now aren't there?" I questioned, wondering if I was overlooking something since this didn't seem like the crisis Zazu had made it out to be. "So the lack of trees shouldn't be a problem…"

"No the problem is that silly old rule!" Haithi broke in, obviously grumbling but keeping his tone more modulated than earlier in an attempt to remain diplomatic. "All this silliness about the grazing line being "the head height of a yearling giraffe" it's not sensible! Firstly there aren't any yearling calves to determine the height, and that fire that swept through here killed all the younger trees and shrubs—there isn't half as much down below for us to eat!"

"And do you think the drought left the tops of the trees untouched?" Kaifa spat back, his patience wearing thin. "It was the uppermost branches that baked all day in the sun, and without any water the leaves aren't more than the thinnest of dry, tasteless slivers!" I watched as the ancient animal snorted in irritation, nostrils flaring as he glared down at the gray elephant beside him.

_Back to square one,_ I groaned inwardly, beginning to feel the soreness in my paws from simply standing around for too long.

"Look, that's enough!" I finally broke, growling and baring my teeth in frustration. "If your two herds can't mange to graze in the same area than I am going to claim this area as off bounds for both species."

"What?!" Both leaders exclaimed, turning their dark brown eyes on me in surprise.

"But this is the best grove for miles!" Haithi protested, tongue stumbling over his words.

"And the safest!" Kaifa spoke up as well, blinking in shock as he craned his long neck downward.

"What about water?" Colonel Haithi grunted, still seeming to collect his thoughts.

"I see no reason your two herds can't continue to share the water, that doesn't seem to be a problem," I said slowly between clenched teeth, jerking my head in the direction of the youngsters still playing in the shallows.

I was frustrated, and knew that I shouldn't just end things where they were but my mind was shut down. I was infuriated, just irate that something so trivial should keep dragging on for so long. Where I grew up we just avoided those who annoyed us, there was plenty of land and food for everyone. I remembered one time where Timon, Pumbaa and I went for a week without seeing another animal besides the bugs we ate.

Unfortunately such a simple maneuver wouldn't work in the pride lands, where traditional grazing grounds and rituals have been a part of life so long that none even realize how bizarre some of the customs are. Even asking for something so simple as to have the two herds avoid this one watering hole would probably step on someones toes. It was entirely possible that this site was the place where the giraffes favorite leader had been calved, or where the elephants taught their youngest to drink with their trunks.

"Just as a temporary measure, maybe not even the whole season," I added hastily, trying frantically to remember if this place was of any extreme importance to either species, and feeling the first twinges of regret for my outburst. "It seems as though things can't be peaceable until a decision is reached, but I don't want to rush into any final ruling over this until I'm sure it's the right choice."

Total bull, I was rushing into the decision about not making a decision.

"There should be plenty of food in your other grazing locations that avoiding this one for a few suns shouldn't be detrimental to anyone. However if problems do arise and food is too scarce I will gladly reconsider my ruling if a final decision hasn't been reached yet. Does that sound fair?"

Heart beating anxiously I listened as both large males grudgingly agreed, already shooting glances that dared one another to even think about breaking the temporary truce and feed in this favored grazing spot while this judgment stood. Finally though the pact was fully accepted; each leader content with the temporary abandonment of this particular place and extracting promises from me to come up with a more permanent solution as soon as possible.

I repeated once more my promise to look into the situation as quickly as I could, gave each leader the proper and respectful goodbye they deserved from the king of the Pride Lands—and then I fled.

* * *

I'm free.

That's all I can think—I'm free.

The gentle wind, well warmed from the sun by this time of day, brushes just hard enough against my face to toss the thinner strands of mane, though not enough to make me feel like I'm fighting it as I run. My legs are fresh, muscles enjoying the feeling of stretching out with each running stride and velvet paws land with surefootedness on the familiar paths worn by generations of feet.

_I could run forever!_ I think, drunk on sheer adrenaline pumping through my system after standing still so long. Topping the last hill and with home in sight I let impulse take me; hurtling down the hill at a breakneck speed that thrilled me.

It felt so good to be back.

Blazing by the newly grown grass I could imagine this land restored to the splendor it had in my cubhood. The small spring that I leaped over with one bound would soon be framed with flowers. The dirt packed trails my paws follow without thought would become hidden by the towering savannah grass, a cool and shaded runway for the smaller animals of the plains.

And Pride Rock…well that was already back to the way things should be.

My heart swelled with pride as I loped up to the giant promontory that served as the centerpiece of the kingdom. Scattered around the base were the lionesses of my pride. Their tan pelts stood out sharply against the ground that still held the ashy grey color from the fires that had ravaged the land before the rains had finally fallen. Though they were fewer than I remember from my cubhood the ribs have finally disappeared from their sides; sinking back out of sight under layers of muscle and fur. The entire congregation napped companionably near one another, exhausted from a successful nights hunt.

Though the bright sun hasn't yet made it to the highest point of its arc some of them have already sought the shelter of shade to protect them from the fierce heat. The spindly trees nearby haven't leafed out enough yet to provide more than minimal shade but the cool side of a large boulder is comfortable enough to suffice. The other females have scattered themselves in a rough circle, soaking up the light that hasn't seemed to touch this battered land for ages.

"Simba!" one cries out as I slow down and approach them at a walk. I don't have to look to know who it is but I want to.

Blue eyes wide and excited Nala jumps to her feet, sprinting the dozen strides to my side with a smile on her face. Her movement holds me in thrall, I can only stand and watch as she approaches, ecstatic to have something to take my mind off the problems of the morning. The smooth working of powerful muscles under that beautiful light coat…

Could there be anyone more lovely?

Could another lioness have bluer eyes?

Could someone else move with such grace?

Such speed?

Wait…

Speed?

The entire world spins, the earth above my head and sky below my feet for a moment; green and blue twisting together so I can't tell one from another. Then the sudden jarring of packed earth under my shoulder blades brings back gravity and I'm blinking up at those blue eyes I had been staring at only a second previous.

"Pinned ya," Nala laughs, smirking down at me.

I can't respond.

No, I don't want to.

She's right there in front of me, smiling a smile that's for me alone. The gentle press of her paws on my chest is more like an embrace than a pinning maneuver. And her tail brushing against my haunches isn't an accident, but an excuse to touch me merely because she can.

Looking up, seeing my own smiling face mirrored in those blue eyes…

My world is perfect right now.

* * *

**Next Chapter- **_The problems and pressure grow and Simba begins to realize that everything at home is not as he remembers it as a cub._


	3. Independence

**Chapter 3: Independence**

"Simba!" The familiar call easily penetrates my mind, even Nalas' presence isn't enough to block out my mothers' voice. "Simba, I need to talk to you," she repeats, rising up from the dusty ground and slowly making her way over as my mate finally lets me up.

Watching her approach I'm struck by how little my mother has changed over the years. Her lithe, still muscular form is as familiar to me as Nalas'; maybe even moreso because I've known it longer. Despite the years that have passed I still feel a certain security in her presence; she welcomed me back as her little cub after my disappearance, no questions asked and no doubt of any kind that I was still the son she loved.

"Nala could you excuse us for a moment?" she purrs, sparking a nervous feeling in my stomach. Something that she didn't want to say in front of my mate couldn't bode well for me.

"Of course my queen," Nala said gracefully, bowing her head slightly in honor of my mother before giving me a final brush with her tail and heading off to join the other lionesses once again. My mother watched her go, a proud smile on her face that I barely registered; still intoxicated by the scent of my beloved and fighting to keep it in my nostrils as long as possible

"I've watched that girl grow from an adventurous cub into a strong lioness," my mother muttered aloud, more for her ears than mine. Her eyes carried a mix of sadness and pride as she watched Nala flop down in the shade beside some of the younger lionesses. The old queen turned to me with a sigh, "She really loves you Simba."

I blushed at the words and the look on my mothers' face. "I know," I finally stammer out, thinking drunk-love thoughts of how lucky I was that it was true.

Grinning slightly at my embarrassment she continued, "And I'm happy for both of you. She'll make a good queen at your side some day. However," she looked at me sideways with a slightly skeptical gaze. "I believe you must learn to be king on your own first."

"Mother?" I queried, caught off guard by the sudden lack of faith. Ever since my return she had been nothing but supportive; forever counseling me through each day and every little hiccup that appeared as the kingdom knit itself back together. Her skepticism unnerved me more even than my own uncertainty dealing with the problems of the morning.

"You do remember the task I gave you yesterday don't you little one?" my mother murmured, her eyes expectantly waiting for me to freeze up in failure at my forgetfulness.

"Umm, well….yes?" I stammered, hoping that something would jog my memory before she questioned me further. Desperately I wracked my memory, delving into my mind for whatever assignment she had given me to remember for this sunrise.

"And what event would that have been?" my mother purred out, smirking slightly since she knew I was lying. Knowing it was in vain, I still sifted through my memories of the day before, desperately catching onto the small clue that she had given me about it being an event. However, though I could remember speaking with my mother I couldn't hear the words she had spoken to me.

"Umm, well….heh heh heh," I smiled at her, giggling slightly and trying to look innocent. Unfortunately techniques that had worked years ago for a small cub were no longer of use. My mother sighed, closing her eyes first and taking a breath.

"Son you need to pay attention to things like this," the old queen sighed, hanging her head and shaking it slowly from side to side. "Tonight is the initiation for the year old cubs, it's important that you're prepared to speak to the pride for each of them."

"Aww crocodiles," I swore quietly. "I'm sorry mom, I forgot," I told her, shamed at having forgotten something so important, and, more uncomfortably, underneath that shame jealousy flickered. Of course I had missed my own initiation into the pride but that didn't excuse me from forgetting about the one I was supposed to preside over this evening.

Every year, after the first rains had fallen, we waited for the night of the new moon; and in the shadowy light of dusk the cubs who had survived their first year were brought forward before the pride. It was an important ceremony in the Pride Lands, one that brought the entire pride together and welcomed the youngsters as a vital part of the family it formed. Each cub was called forth and asked three questions by the king; questions with ritual answers as ancient as the pride structure itself.

The first question merely asked only who they were, to which the cubs answered merely their name and received a scowl in return. The second question delved deeper, with the prides' leader probing again at who they were. Appropriately the cub would answer their name again, more tentatively and sometimes adding their mothers name to help define themselves by their lineage in hopes that it would please their leader. With a fake growl the king would ask once more who they were, and (usually quivering with eagerness) the young members of the pride would burst out their allegiance; claiming their part in the pride and loyalty to its principles.

Though the young males who were initiated would leave the pride in less than two years and only the young lionesses would remain, the whole ceremony was designed to promote unity within the pride—and give the newly initiated members a sense of place. Each young lion was given a mentor to teach them the basic skills of hunting and to reinforce the laws of the circle of life. The ceremony was a turning point in the lives of the youngsters; a night when they began their lives as adults and full members of the pride with responsibility.

"I'm sorry mother," I apologized with sincerity again, relentlessly trying to squash the small spark of jealousy that still burned at missing my own ceremony.

"I know my son," my mother said in her gentle way, stepping forward and licking my cheek tenderly. "But you can't continue to be so absent minded about things like this," she looked up at me, her eyes pleading. "I won't be around forever to remind you about every little task."

This unexpected comment rocked me back, blinking in shock I could only stare at the lioness before me; the racing words and thoughts in my mind unable to form on my lips and break the silence. It faintly registered that this was the second time she had shocked me so deeply tonight.

"Relax child," my mother laughed, her happy expression quieting the racing fears in my mind. "That won't be for some time yet." Here she paused and gave me a small smirk. "Though it doesn't hurt for you to be reminded once in a while—it's time to put some of those skills you have into practice."

I flushed with embarrassment that she had tricked me so easily, glancing down at my paws and scuffing them in the dirt like a young cub. From the corner of my eye I saw my mother smile and roll her eyes, turning to survey the nearby savannah and give me a chance to gather myself. Afraid to ask aloud, I prayed that tonight wasn't when she was going to make me practice being king on my own.

"We'll go over the particulars for the ceremony tonight later," my mother interrupted my frantic thoughts, and briefly I wondered if reading minds was a special skill mothers gained when they had cubs. "Right now tell me how things went this morning." Her gaze shifted from the golden grass to my own amber eyes. "I'll help you sift through all the reports Zazu gave you."

"You're great mom," I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling the weight of responsibility lift a bit form my shoulders. Timon and Pumba had been great in raising me, but there are times when only a mother knows exactly what to say.

* * *

The sun was no longer visible on the horizon when the pride gathered beneath the prow of Pride Rock, though its light could still be see on the bellies of the cloud. The lionesses padded in from all directions, murmuring congratulations to those who would be initiated tonight before taking their own place in the loose semi-circle.

"Hey you," Nala spooked me slightly as she silently appeared from the shadows behind me.

"Hey," I murmured back, once more struck by how happy it made me just to be in her presence. Struck by a sudden idea I leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Meet me for a walk under the stars when this is over?" Her shining blue eyes answered more perfectly than any words, and purring slightly she rubbed up against me. After too brief of a moment my mate went and took her place in the circle, settling down between her mother and mine. The sight of my mother reminded me of what I was doing, and I tore my gaze away from the lioness who had captured my heart and back to the task at hand.

The five cubs who had reached their first year sat quivering before me in the shadowy light. As they waited for the ceremony to begin, and the night grew around them, it warped the colors of the cubs' pelts. Those with dark fur disappeared, melding with the shadows of the acacia trees while the lighter colored cubs glowed like patches of fog in the starlight. The sharp contrast made me sad for a moment, remembering that each of these cubs where children of Scar, a lasting monument to his reign of the pride.

_So much darkness,_ I thought to myself, unable to contain a bit of worry as I surveyed the cubs arrayed before me again. Scars' influence on the land was slowly vanishing, the herds returning with the rains that turned the land lush again from the overhunted and dry wasteland it had become. However there was no overlooking that it was he who had fathered cubs with such dark pelts

Nuka's gray fur blended easily into the ash that still poked through the growing grass; while Dotty and Spotty carried a brown-red hue could not have been passed down from their tan mothers. Only Kiveh and Kala sparkled in the dark, their bright gold and creamy pelts reminiscent of the line of kings and queens that had ruled the Pride Lands. However there was no avoiding the quick green eyes that the twins had inherited from their father.

For years to come the very presence of these young lions in the pride would remind myself and others of Scars' dark reign.

Initially at my return I had been caught off guard by their presence, the possibility of Scar having descendents hadn't crossed my mind back in the jungle. Dealing with my own inherent fears about the tempers of his offspring, and the possibility of members of the pride who respected Scar and missed him was something I was still struggling to deal with.

After all, who could blame cubs for admiring their own father? Certainly not me.

Now though it was too late for such musing, such second thoughts and doubts. These cubs were here, they were a part of my pride now and I had a duty to welcome them truly into it and teach them its ways.

I took a deep breath, and began.

"For all you readers who have tackily added this story to your alerts and/or favorites and not left a review, SHAME!!"

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_A/N- For those of you who skipped the last line, SHAME (again). Sorry but I'm tired of getting e-mails saying someone has added my story to their alerts or favorites list and yet absolutely no review. (did you guys know that authors get stuff like that? Ha! Caught!) To me that just seems rude, if you liked a story enough and made it to the end to click that little menu you can take an extra 30 seconds and write a review, there's a lot of time and effort that goes into writing and I'd appreciate some feedback._

_On a happier note I want to THANK all of you who have reviewed. I haven't been getting the usual short, 'I liked it!' but rather some much nicer and thoughtful reviews. Thank you guys!_

_Also, Dotty and Spotty are not original characters of mine, but widely accepted fan names for two of the outlanders in The Lion King II_.


	4. Duty

**Chapter 4- Duty**

Now, when I said that I began to speak what I really mean was that I TRIED to.

Really.

I honestly did attempt to say the words my mother and I had rehearsed earlier, but my throat and tongue were so dry that only a whisper of sound escaped, barely reaching my own ears. Desperately I tried to swallow, but all that did was irritate my throat and set me sputtering and coughing. Helplessly I sensed the rest of the pride quiet down as I fought to control the spasms; their concentration shifting away from private conversations, thinking I was trying to catch their attention. The last vestiges of sunlight were rapidly disappearing from the sky and it was time to get started with the initiation ceremony—but I couldn't, and not just because of the coughing.

I had never been comfortable speaking before groups, even when that group was extremely small. Since my return I had been able to force myself to adjust to addressing the leaders of the multiple herds that roamed the pride lands, however I had had the benefit of usually meeting with them one and one.

In front of me now were dozens of pairs of eyes, all of them glowing slightly with the reflection of moon and star light, and I was painfully aware that each and every one was waiting for me to speak the words of ceremony. Even the excited initiate cubs were silent and still by the time I could swallow normally again. Unfortunately their attentive gaze did nothing to still my nerves. Instead their hopefully faces completely drove the entire ceremony speech from my mind. Horror shot ice through my veins and I completely froze with the entire pride waiting expectantly for me to begin. A second of silence stretched longer and longer, and I was so nervous that I could almost feel the sweat spots appearing on my pelt.

"Excuse me, pardon us, coming through." Timons' familiar voice broke through my petrified mind and I glanced up as the little meerkat shouldered his way into the circle, Pumbaa trailing behind.

Since Scar had been overthrown my two guardians had settled into their life as part of the pride. The lionesses had accepted both insectivores far more easily than I would have thought possible, apparently their bravery in the battle against the hyenas had not been overlooked. Still though, the ease in which they settled themselves down in the circle, Timon leaning back against my mothers' front leg and waving cheekily to me, was impressive.

Their entrance broke the rigor mortis that had set into my muscles.

_This is my family, _I remembered suddenly, exhaling slightly and looking around the circle one final time. _I don't have anything to be afraid of._

I may not have spent most of my life within the safety of the pride, but the lionesses surrounding me were still the faces I had known and trusted since birth. My mother, Nalas' mother, our old playmates Tama and Kula, the elderly lioness Miehka who always cub-sat me—they were my family, not hungry vultures waiting to swoop down and feast on my spoken words if I stumbled and tripped on them.

_Nothing to be afraid of_, I reminded myself again.

It was high time to get started.

"The King calls forth those cubs that have survived their first cycle of the seasons," I spoke loudly so that all could hear me, sitting up straight and trying to look like the king they all expected. "Come stand before me now! Ahdoti, Kala, Kiveh, Nuka, Shandee."

Each cub leapt to their paws at their name, though I caught a small scowl appearing on Dottys' face when I used her full name. However the angry look was brief, replaced with eager willingness as she lined up in front of me with the others. Mentally I shrugged, this was an official ceremony after all, it wouldn't hurt her or Shandee to be called by their birth names for one night.

The two dusty colored females couldn't have been closer had they been true blooded sisters. So inseparable had the two cubs grown to be that their own mothers had begun to mix up their names on occasion. I had heard stories of their mischief under Scars' reign, the duo getting into many scrapes that seemed inevitable of cub-hood—and always side by side. Resigned to the inseparability of their daughters the two mothers, as well as the entire pride, had shifted from calling them by their birth names to more interchangeable nicknames. Dotty and Spotty eagerly responded to either name, rejoicing in the similarities of sound that they felt brought them closer to sisterhood.

These facts passed through my head quicker than it took to breath a single breath. Then, I couldn't delay any longer.

"Let the eldest come before me and speak!" I commanded, keeping just a hint of a growl in my tone so the sound carried. Her light coat almost glowing as it caught the starlight, Kala took several steps closer to me, away from the line of cubs.

"I am the eldest," the yearling lioness practically sang out, her eyes flicking briefly back to where her brother sat, triumphant in their depths. Internally I snickered at the cubbish taunt; everything was a competition when you were young, and being the older sibling was one that managed to survive through each generation. Kala's green eyes were turned up to mine once more, her happy eagerness giving me the courage to continue.

"Who are you, young cub?" I spoke the ritual words directly to the little lioness.

"I am the eldest cub, Kala!" she exclaimed.

"No!" I growled in mock anger, though the noise is loud enough to make Kala flinch involuntarily. "I asked, who are you?"

"My name is Kala," the cub answered again, adding tentatively, "Daughter of Sarafina." Her mother had coached her earlier on how to answer each of the questions I would ask, but, keeping with tradition, she hadn't told her exactly what those questions were, or how I would demand them. My mind blanked for a moment as it inserted the words that she left out, _daughter of scar, _but I shook my head and continued.

"Your king has asked you who you are!" I roared out, blasting my voice across the dark savannah. Now, it was Kala's time to shine and she knew it. Though she hadn't been expecting it, my roar didn't faze her and the eager cub jumped on her next line.

"I am Kala!" she fairly shouted, her tail whisking the air in excitement. "Daughter of Sarafina and child of the Pride Lands. I bow before my king," she tucked her head and pulled back a front leg. Then she straightened and stood firmly before me, balanced on all four paws. "I pledge my loyalty to you and to my pride. I pledge to uphold the circle of life, to take only what I need and to give back all I can. I ask you…" Kala paused for a moment and my heart stopped beating as I realized she had forgotten the words—and that I didn't know them either. Suddenly Kala spoke again and my panic evaporated. The little imp had paused for dramatic flair!

"I ask that you see me as one of the pride," she finished solemnly, a sigh escaping her lips.

"Kala, child of the pride lands," I murmured, my tone muted from earlier but still carrying to the eager ears around the circle. Now came the part my mother had had to help me prepare for, a few words on their personal strengths that made them valuable to the pride. "You have been an energetic and mischievous cub, but when it truly matters you have proven that there are some brains between those ears."

I heard her brother Kiveh bite back a laugh at that statement, and even the snickers from a few of the lionesses. I felt a smile on my lips, and was glad that I hadn't followed my mothers' advice exactly. Usually the personal statement was more formal, but I knew that wasn't the kind of king I was. I hadn't grown up in a tight, rule abiding society, and formal speeches weren't really my style. Plus I hadn't been around to watch these cubs grow up like most kings would have, instead all I had was the few weeks I had spent with them, and the stories tossed around by the lionesses. And the stories that stuck around weren't about all the times a cub had behaved, oh no, the tales were about the mischief and trouble caused that had made the lionesses laugh. And though Kala was slightly embarrassed to be reminded of some of those events, I had a feeling it would be overcome by the good natured laughter

"You are one of the pride Kala, now join us," I concluded, beckoning to the circle with a paw. The surrounding crowd yelped and hollered in excitement as the newly initiated cub trotted to join the circle. Her mother and sister shifted so that she could sit between them, Nala cuffing the cub lightly on the head in congrats. Kala good naturedly shook off the blow, a giant smile on her face that grew even bigger when she saw the face of her obviously jealous twin still standing in the middle of the circle.

Luckily for him, and for me, the rest of the ceremony would be faster. Only the eldest cub was put through the trial of questioning, the others only had to come up and make their claim to join the pride.

Kiveh, as the next eldest, approached me first.

"Sire," he began, carrying the air of confidence of one much older. "I am Kiveh, son of Sarafina, and child of the Pride Lands. I bow before my king." The words were clipped and precise, and though I could almost feel the excitement flowing from him the golden cub kept it contained. Yes, I had chosen right when I picked the words for him and I felt my own confidence growing as he pledged his loyalty.

" Kiveh, child of the Pride Lands, you have been an adventurous cub, showing yourself to be in possession of solid judgement for both you and your friends in times of trouble, even if most of those times were of your own making." The young male cringed a little guiltily at the memories, but he had the advantage over his sister of expecting me to chide him a little. "Kiveh, you are one of the pride, join us," I finished solemnly, gesturing once again to the circle.

I made it easily through Dotty and Spottys' initiations, the happy excitement of the two young lionesses stirring me on. But when it came time for the last cub to come forward I felt the dry nervousness of my throat return.

He stood before me, balanced on nervously shaking paws, his scraggly appearance a stark contrast to the bright pelts in the circle surrounding him. The youngest of the lot, Nuka had been born late in the dry season as the pride struggled desperately to catch enough food to keep themselves alive. Always sickly and small the grayish cub had struggled hard to keep up with his physically stronger playmates. Even tonight, standing in line earlier with the others, he had stretched up on his toes, fighting to be as tall as Kiveh standing beside him.

I might have felt pity for him, the physical exile of the group, if he hadn't reminded me so much of my late uncle. It was true that all the cubs of this age class were Scars' children, but none carried such a striking physical resemblance to him. Kiveh and Kala were practically doubles of myself and Nala as cubs. Ahdoti and Shandee had darker pelts than was normal in the pride lands, but they were both built along the more solid, muscular lines that the Pride Lands bred. Nuka, on the other hand, carried none of the typical traits of a Pride Lander. He was thin, not just from lack of food, but by the underlying build of his skeleton. His angular muzzle matched Scars' perfectly, and had his eyes carried the same glint as his fathers I don't know if I could have stood to be beside him.

_No time for that now,_ I scolded myself as he cautiously approached, feeling the weight of the entire pride watching him. _It doesn't matter what his father's done, Nuka's nothing but an innocent cub._

"Sire," he mumbled, obviously nervous. "I am Nuka, son of Zira, and child of the Pride Lands. I bow before my king," the gray cub quickly bobbed his head, rushing through the rest of the words as though he were in a hurry to get out of the spotlight. "I pledge my loyalty to you and to my pride. I pledge to uphold the circle of life, to take only what I need and to give back all I can. I ask that you see me as one of the pride." I could actually see the sigh he let out, his thin sides sinking in and displaying the ribs. His eyes shifted up to me and for a second I saw fire glinting in them. The same fires that had surrounded Pride Rock on the night I had retaken the throne.

I replayed that night in my mind. That first, devastating sight of the dead land that had once been my home. Seeing Scar strike me mother to the ground. Nala and the other lionesses clawing at the hordes of hyenas as they tried to interfere in the fight between me and Scar. Being surrounded by flames with my Uncle leaping straight at me, the fire glinting in his eyes.

Suddenly my mother cleared her throat and I was back in the present. Nuka shifted uncomfortably before me, unsure what to do about my extra long pause. Embarrassed, I practically spit out the ritual words, forgetting most of what I had planned to say.

" Nuka, child of the Pride Lands, you have been an honest and cooperative cub. Nuka, you are one of the pride, please join us." I immediately felt guilty about the brevity of my statement but it was too late now. Luckily my mother quickly responded with a congratulatory yell for Nuka and the other lionesses followed her example. Relief flowed through my limbs as the cub pranced over to join his mother in the circle. It was all over. I had finished my first solo ceremony as king, I felt a little rush of pride for myself.

Then I caught Nala smiling at me from across the circle, her blue eyes shining in the stars, and that pride was swept away on a wave of giddiness. Oh it was great to complete the rite without a hitch, but it was absolutely wonderful to have her proud of me for it.

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_A/N- Hi everyone, miss me? I do sincerely apologize for the long delay, I do promise to finish this story. Part of the problem was that I was honestly scared to write this chapter. I really wanted to write a ceremony that felt like a long-standing tradition but not corny, while still progressing the character development. yeah, high hopes, I know. Hopefully I succeeded at least a little bit. Thanks for everyone who continued to give me very supportive reviews, I really appreciate the feedback. The next chapter should be longer and I'm going to go work on it right now, later!_


	5. Falling

**Chapter 5: Falling**

My feet dragged through the rough savanna grass, I was too tired to pick them up above the short stubble.

_No more late nights,_ I muttered to myself, unsuccessfully fighting back another yawn. It was early afternoon, but the festivities the previous night had lasted until the moon was high in the sky. After the formal initiation ceremony it was tradition for the entire pride to roam about the Pride Lands in small groups, visiting the most popular hunting sites, the best drinking holes and any other favorite spots. The official reasoning was to introduce the new pride members to their home, though since most cubs had grown up in these lands it was really an unnecessary tour. Instead it was a night were they were finally allowed the freedom to be fully on their own, a rite of passage to adulthood.

I admit that I had enjoyed it as much as the five yearlings, running across the familiar plains in the night had made me feel like a cub again. The thrill of feeling like I could run forever in the perpetual twilight of the stars with Nala by my side had kept me awake closer to dawn than dusk. An unbidden smile crept onto my lips as I thought about my queen.

We had stopped to rest in the middle of the hunting plains, lying on our backs in the grass as we connected the bright stars into constellations. At one point Nala had cuddled up close to me, her head resting on my chest peacefully. I was initially caught off guard, but quickly recovered and pulled her even closer with a paw.

"I could get used to this," I had whispered in her ear, taking the chance to nuzzle her. My mate laughed, her familiar eyes looking into mine.

"Me too," she had murmured back, pulling me closer…

"SIRE!" Zazus' voice was a commanding yell, jerking me back to the present. Mentally I growled, barely stopping myself from letting the irritation out vocally. My advisor had a knack for interrupting my happiest thoughts. "The Herd Master will be waiting!"

"I'm coming Zazu," I managed to grumble out, trying hard to keep the annoyance out of my tone. _Well I did just get up, he can deal with a crabby king for a little bit,_ I thought, still feeling the effects of too little sleep from the night before. _But it was worth it,_ I reminisced, holding on to the memories of last night for another second before shifting my attention to the duties of the day.

The rest of the pride might have an official holiday today, but that didn't mean the kingdom didn't need their king. I couldn't remember my father ever telling me how full time a job being King was. Too late now, I was stuck in the roll.

"All right Zazu, where' this Herd Master?" I yawned out, trying to pick up my tired feet and step up the pace.

"Right across the river bank Sire, I believe there's an old tree trunk that you can use for a bridge." Zazu's words were concise and he spoke them in measured tones, I could tell he was irritated by my lack of manners.

_Better shape up before meeting this important Herd Master,_ I sighed, breaking into a trot over the gnarled tree trunk my advisor had pointed out. "Now where exactly…"

"Simba? Are you King Simba?" A frantic wildebeest suddenly cantered full into my vision, tossing his horned head mere inches from my face.

"Yes, and you're, I mean you must be," I stumbled over the words, shocked by his sudden appearance.

"DO YOU REALIZE THAT THERE ARE CROCODILES DOWN IN THE RIVER!!" The sudden bellow in my face made me take an involuntary step backwards. Luckily I was so stunned that I didn't think to be embarrassed by the fact that I, a lion, was backing down before a prey animal.

"Umm, yes?" I finally replied hesitantly. I had actually noted the large reptiles when I was halfway across the log bridge. I'd spent my last couple steps wishing that I'd checked how solidly it was resting on the bank. The Herd Master continued to look at me in indignation, obviously expecting a different answer. I just stared back, thoroughly confused.

The Herd Master was the leader of the entire Wildebeest herd during migration, making sure the path ahead was clear and full of tender grass for the massive herd. He was chosen anew each year from a pool of eligible males who had made it through seven migrations. They competed in a test of strength, bravery and outright fighting. Without his consent the herd would not even cross the smallest stream.

Now, as far as I knew, there had always been crocodiles in that river (as well as most in the area), so I couldn't see why it should come as a surprise to such an experienced migrator. The Pride Lands had always been one of their traditional stops, the great plains on the east making perfect calving grounds for their young. The vast herd had taken a slight hiatus during the darkest years of Scar's reign, the lack of grazing pushing them to other lands, but a few had persevered in the old tradition and passed on the word that the Pride Lands was once again a lush and green place that should once again be a part of their annual migration.

The Herd Master was still staring at me heatedly, and I felt my nervousness deepen. This was not a leader I could afford to anger, the arrival of these herds was vital to provide easy hunting so the pride could fatten up and recover from the dry season. So I asked the only question I could think of.

"Is there a problem?"

"Problem? Problem?" the Herd master sputtered, half-rearing in frustration. "This section is supposed to be cleared of those deadly carnivores! Your father would never have tolerated such sloppy leadership! The herd is only two days away!"

I just blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

"Idiot," he snorted, semi-quietly, stomping the earth. "Cleared, this section of the river is supposed to be free from any predatory danger," he said slowly, as though he were explaining a difficult concept to a particularly slow cub. "The ancient ruling was that there would be one safe crossing area for those willing to contend for its limited space and time. This," he indicated the steeply banked river, "is that section."

I am ashamed to admit that it wasn't I, but Zazu who set the Herd Master straight.

"Now see here Sir," the major domo stated, settling firmly on my shoulder so that he could look eye to eye with the wildebeest. "Your herd has not traveled to these parts for the past two years; it is rude to assume that nothing should have changed on our end of management." The Herd Master had the presence of mind to look properly ashamed, while I had a hard time keeping a grin off my face. It was nice to see Zazu chewing out someone else for a change.

"As a matter of fact," the hornbill continued, clacking his beak, "we have recently made a deal with the 'carnivores' in the local vicinity."

Well that was news to me.

"Due to strong flooding earlier this year a natural dam has been created in one of our local gorges, causing the river beyond it to drop extremely low levels. Most of these creatures are refugees from that area, displaced here when their homes dried up." Here Zazu shot the wildebeest a very stern look, the absurdity of the little bird facing down a wildebeest ten times his size almost made me start laughing. He was actually telling the truth—more or less. We had experienced some extra flooding, and there was a new dam in the border river, but I highly doubted that these crocodiles were the refugees Zazu was proclaiming.

"Yes, yes, excuse me," the Herd Master apologized profusely, bobbing his head at my Major Domo. "I was completely out of line, forgive me, most embarrassing really…" He nattered on a while, giving Zazu what sounded like a very sincere apology, though I could occasionally see his gaze flick to me and turn icy. Apparently I wasn't making a very good impression.

"Let's let bygones be and try to find an alternative solution," I interrupted when he finally paused for breath, trying to redeem myself. "I believe that we have guaranteed your herd safety from hunting on a certain part east plains during your calving season correct?" The Herd master nodded his assent, his dark eyes still wary as though I were going to spring a trap on him. "Well in trade for not being able to provide a safe crossing for your herd, I will add additional land for your herd to rest on where they will be safe from hunting by the lioness. Is that acceptable?"

"Depends on the grazing grounds," the ungulate snorted gruffly, trying to salvage his pride. Inwardly I repressed a groan, patiently mapping out the new boundaries in the dirt of the riverbank until we were both satisfied.

"Fine, I shall report back to my herd than and let them know about the danger of the river crossing as well as the new safe grazing zone," the Herd master finally announced, standing tall and giving me a quick dip of his head.

"Yes, but only for this year," Zazu interrupted, fluttering up to sit on my shoulder. "Next season the rules shall regress back to their original plan on both sides. Agreed?"

"Yes, yes, of course," the wildebeest huffed, obviously annoyed. He had made out fairly well on our little deal, gaining quite a bit of good grazing land that would be a 'hunt free' zone for his herd. I felt a quick burst of gratitude for Zazu that he had cut off a potential problem next season. I didn't want to deal with a herd that thought they were entitled to even more next year. I was immensely glad that I hadn't fired the blue hornbill as I had so often dreamed of as a cub.

"Fare well then," the Herd master stated solemnly, bowing low to both of us before twisting around and bounding back across the barren plain to his herd.

As soon as he was out of sight I turned to the hornbill on my shoulder, saying a little awkwardly,

"Hey Zazu…thanks."

"Of course your majesty," he replied, flushing a bit in embarrassment. He took off delicately from my shoulder, flapping only a couple times before becoming gracefully airborne. "After all," Zazu added primly as we began the walk home. "He was entirely in the wrong."

* * *

Zazu and I spent the rest of the long afternoon traversing the Pride Lands. No other major problems came up, but having only half the usual amount of time to complete my rounds was stressful. I could tell that Zazu was as tired and frustrated as I when he asked to go home immediately after our last meeting.

"My wings aren't quite so eager to flap as they were when I was a fledgling," he apologized from his perch on a thin branch of some scrub brush. "I can't say that I feel quite myself after flying around all last night."

"Sure thing Zazu," I said, waving him off with a paw as I started my own trek home. "If the lioness have any trouble to report I'm sure I can handle it."

"Thank you sire."

I watched him flap wearily across the blue sky, noting that his vibrant feathers seemed a little dull against the bright, azure color. _I hope he's not getting sick,_ I thought, a little concerned. I had spent a day earlier this season functioning without Zazu overhead while he recovered from a cold. They had been some of the most exhausting days of my life. I had spent from sun up to sun down running constantly from place to place, wasting time on frivolous appointments, unimportant disputes and double backing to relay messages or new rulings. By the time Zazu was recovered I was almost filling ready for a sick day or two myself.

Today, however, I was a bit footsore but still awake; especially when I spotted Nala snoozing on her favorite sunning rock. Cautiously I sunk into a crouch, creeping up as silently as possible in her blind spot. For the last couple feet I dropped even lower, almost dragging my belly across the ground and hardly breathing. I could barely see the rock through the golden grass; Nala was just out of sight on top of it I was crouched so low. A few more steps and….I leapt, mouth open to laugh the instant I had her pinned.

My paws thudded down on gritty rock and my laugh turned into a shout of surprise. My momentum carried me forward a step, right to the edge of the stone.

"Boo!" Nala's head popped up at my feet, rising as she threw herself at me. Her leaping weight knocked me to my side, crushing the air out of my lungs and I scowled up at her.

"Not fair!"

"Oh come on," she giggled, stepping aside to let me get up. "You should know better than to try and sneak up on me by now."

"Can I at least get points for trying?" I grunted, trying to get my breath back. Nala merely laughed again, stepping closer to nuzzle me.

"Sure."

"And can I cash those points in then?" I piped up, brushing off the shame of being bested, once again, by a lioness.

"For what?"

"How about another night of star gazing?" I asked eagerly, the idea suddenly popping up in my mind. I could never have enough time with Nala, no matter how much we were together I only wanted it to last longer.

"I've got to go out hunting tonight," she admitted slowly, with regret lingering in her voice.

"Ok, well how about tomorrow night?" I tried again, giving her a pleading and hopeful look.

"Simba I have to go out pretty much every night, everyone else has cubs that need to be watched, or they're getting old like your mother…"

"Sire! Sire!" Zazu was practically screaming as he darted above our heads, cutting off Nala with none of his usual manners. "Your highness, there's been a terrible accident!"

"What? Where?" I gasped in shock. We had just finished rounds an hour ago, how could something have gone wrong so quickly?

"It's hyenas Sire, they've killed a calf." His choice of that word made me even more worried. A calf could mean a number of different animals. A giraffe, an antelope, a hippo or…

"An elephant calf Zazu?" I asked, terrified to know the answer.

"Yes your majesty," he panted, landing on the ground beside me. "One of them from Haithi's herd."

That was the herd I had banished from their regular grazing ground just yesterday. I had forced them to leave a place they knew was safe for one that was dangerous.

And now someone had been hurt.

Someone had _died_.

The Herd masters words from earlier flowed through my mind, "_Your father would never have tolerated such sloppy leadership!_" This is exactly the kind of situation he meant.

It was my fault that this calf was dead.

My fault that I couldn't make a simple decision.

My fault for taking the easy way out instead.

I had failed at being a king once more.

* * *

_A/N- Sorry guys, guess I'm just not a very quick updater. However I have the rest of this story mapped out and we're a little over half-way through. As before reviews are appreciated, especially constructive feedback. I had someone ask earlier what Nala thought of Scars' cubs in the pride and it's given me a whole new angle to explore later in the story. I love feedback like that! So please review, ask questions, challenge me on anything that doesn't make sense! I'd love to have people point out angles or perspectives that I've missed, they help to make a story deeper. Thanks again for reading and enjoy!_


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